WHEN I was 17 years… I was in college then … I studied at a College in Mumbai, which also has a school for children with special needs within its campus. Sometimes, children with special needs would lose their way and wander into our classes.
"One day, I heard a lot of commotion in the neighbouring class and I heard the teacher shooing somebody off … girls were shrieking and running to the back of the class … I assumed a dog had strayed into the class because it was quite common for animals to wander into our classes sometimes. Anyway, I just happened to look out and there was no animal there…
"Standing at the door with the most befuddled, confused look on her face was a Downs syndrome child.
"I was furious with the teacher for having behaved so badly. This was no animal. This was just another child. And I had no exposure to kids with special needs but I walked out, took her by the hand and led her out."
That is when Ayesha Saeed Husaini decided that she would one day work with children who had special needs. Today, this young 30-year-old juggles between her married life, her career as professor of psychology at the Centre for American Education (CAE), while simultaneously finding time to reach out to families who have children with special needs through her free voluntary group called Special Family Support (SFS) as well as coordinating an old age home and orphanage called Our Home in Chennai, India. Quite a handful?
How does she manage? "With a very supportive husband," Ayesha says. "Earlier, it used to be 'you do this or do it if you want to' … Now, it is 'we want to do it'. Ricky (her husband) comes back from work and then helps me with SFS work. He did the SFS web site too. (www.sfsuae.com)."
One would think that there is enough to keep Ayesha busy given that she is preoccupied with organising events for special children or teaching at the CAE. But no! Dynamic that she is, she is on another mission this December - to begin another Our Home - this time in Delhi, her hometown. With a background in both social work and psychology, Ayesha decided to initiate a project that would not just give a home to old people and young children but also provide them the emotional security they needed. Out of that was conceived Our Home -- a project in Chennai that houses both an orphanage and an old age home within the same premises.
"Children and old people across the world are not intentionally put together for some reason. I don't know why but I think it will work well to put them together," she says. The first was an experimental project to see how the age groups interact with each other. Seeing how successful the project has been, Ayesha is now targeting Delhi.
One would assume that a person who is dealing with children all the time would be hastily throwing back papers and paintings when you walk into her home. Not so this time! What greets you is a tastefully-decorated home adorned with little curios crafted creatively from junk material or picked up on the Husainis' travels. At the entrance is a pretty little wooden fence with creepers growing around it - just like you see in picture books - made from a broken bed frame.
Out of such a woman was conceived the Special Family Support (SFS) group for families of children with special needs.
WHY SFS ?
"I was always very keen on working with children and that episode in my College had made me want to work with children with special needs. In March 1998, I sent out my CV to some places and got a job as a psychologist with Al Noor Centre for Children with Special needs.
"At that time, I met people who couldn't send their children to special schools because they didn't have the money or because schools were overbooked. There are very few schools for children with special needs here … Places are always full and parents are desperate to get their children in.
"Moreover, there are support groups here for smokers, alcoholics, and dyslexic people here. But none for children with special needs or their families. That's why!"
How did you get started on SFS?
"It was all by word of mouth," Ayesha recalls. "Some people who had met me heard that I was keen on doing something for such families. Word spread! Some people called up and said they'd love to have a support group like that … so we all did it together … for our initial meetings, we even had people driving down from Abu Dhabi…"
SFS held its first meeting with just three people on the 9th of December, 1999 -- the first day of Ramadan last year. In just a year, over 150 families of children with special needs have joined the group.
The Golf Park at the Hyatt Regency has offered its premises to SFS on the 19th of January to celebrate the group's first anniversary. One family has offered to rope in a band to play for the group. The whole bash will run on the good offices o some generous individuals and organisations.
In future, Ayesha also hopes to start an SFS group in Abu Dhabi.
Who helps SFS?
Volunteers! "Lots of people want to do things … "We take in anybody who wants to help. If they go to schools, schools always ask for professional qualifications. "We take in anybody who wants to help. You want to help? Okay! Tell me how you want to help. That's our attitude!
"We have young kids who come just to play with special kids … When we plan an event, there's always a lot of running around to do … some offer to do that… some handle the painting section. There's always something to do."
What does SFS hope to achieve?
SFS has a two-pronged objective. It aims to help families who have children with special needs cope with their children/siblings, their feelings, added responsibilities, financial concerns, and with the society at large. Likewise, it attempts to help children with special needs integrate into society and interact with regular children.
What does the group do?
The group meets once a month and calls one specialist each month to answer any doubts or questions that parents have regarding their children. Specialists in osteopathy, cardiology, nutrition and dentistry don't just come and give advice to parents, but also respond to individual questions, offer free checkups, and more help if there is a need.
But the group doesn't stop at health-related issues. People from the Laughter Club have held laughter therapy sessions for these families. Like Ayesha says "Tears are very common here. Laughter is not! So laughter therapy helps." And they also do the things that most people take for granted -- like going out to picnics, hosting talent shows and birthday parties and even going out for movies to Rex Drive In.
Ayesha recalls a mother breaking down when they went for a movie. "Apparently, it had been 13 years since she went out to a movie. Another family hadn't had a picnic in 17 years."
The group has a mix of children -- some from the Far East, a large number from the Subcontinent and a few Europeans. Some of these children do go to school. Others don't. Some can't afford the fees. Others have been rejected for lack of space. For those who do not go to school, SFS tries to organise basic teaching classes.
"We started a structured volunteer programme. Some of us … Montessori teachers … psychologists … we go see the child and then draw out a programme for him. We take on some volunteers even if they are not completely trained. We give them some basic training. Then one volunteer goes to the child's home and teaches him … The volunteer keeps reporting back to us after her weekly sessions.
"There are families who can't afford to send their children to special schools. In one case, one of the SFS members found one family a sponsor who would pay the fees directly to the school for them.
"Then there was this family that had two Downs syndrome kids. One child was going to school. The other wasn't and she would cry everyday because she also wanted to go to school. Finally, we decided we had to do something about it. We got our volunteer to go there and tell her that she was going to go to school too. The next day she was all set with her bag in hand. The volunteer took her to another volunteer's home to teach her and that was her school. She was so happy!"
And so is Ayesha. She has no regrets about the personal sacrifices she has had to make, to make her dream come true. It took more than just grit, funds and consistent commitment for this young lady to get where she has. Whatever that secret gene may be, for sure! Ayesha Syed Husaini has it!
Special Family Support -- Tel. 04-3931985.
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