Helping children with eating disorders

By Rachna Buxani, Counselling Services Coordinator, GEMS group of schools

Consider this scenario. A child runs out of the house in the morning without breakfast because she overslept and is worried about missing the bus. That is a normal scenario.  Once the child gets to school she feels hungry and grabs a snack.  Another child skips breakfast before school because she believes that by skipping breakfast she is showing restraint and is demonstrating a sense of reassuring self-control, giving her an edge on the day. If and when she does eat that day, she feels fearful, guilty and anxious about having sabotaged her self-control and having given in to her weakness.

We’ve all heard about the three classic eating disorders that affect millions of young adults especially girls namely Anorexia, Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating. Anorexia Nervosa is a pathological fear of being fat, accompanied by food restriction and at times, purging and over-exercising. It is generally accompanied by a distorted body image, and by the absence of the menses.  Bulimia Nervosa is the repeated cycle of out of control bingeing accompanied by purging or by fasting or excessive exercise to compensate for the intake of calories. Bulimics typically abuse laxatives, diuretics or diet pills and are seen to struggle with other forms of addiction.  Compulsive Overeating is characterized by eating when not hungry or without regard to physiological cues. With binge eating episodes, patients report the inability to stop or to control the behavior.

Eating disorders unlike popular belief are not principally about food or weight issues. Bulimia results from the coming together of diverse factors, both chemical and environmental. People are born with an inherited predisposition towards developing bulimia, particularly where addiction is in the genes. There are also underlying environmental concerns that drive people to put themselves and their bodies through such torture like a child who feels powerless tries to control food as a means of gaining control over his or her life.  Other factors include peer pressure, family attitudes, the influence of the media creating a need for thinness, poor self-esteem and a lack of acceptance of self and body shape. In addition, poor eating habits can be the start of a problem that can eventually escalate to an eating disorder. Dieting and excessive hunger lead to gorging and gorging leads to the propensity to purge. The bottom line, however, is that eating disorders are the misuse of food to resolve emotional problems. A person who is incapable of facing feelings, defining problems, and resolving them effectively, is more susceptible to eating disorders.

There are certain signs parents should be aware of in order to recognize whether their child has an eating disorder.  The earliest warning signs of eating disorders are more likely to be seen in the child's mood and attitudes. In addition to this the following signs help point out trouble:

• Rapid weight loss

• Compulsive over-exercising

• Skipping meals

• Disappearing into the bathroom during or after meals

• Making excuses not to eat meals together with the family

• Refusing to go places where one may be required to eat

• Carrying one’s own food to social events

• Feeling reluctant to attend family dinners or other family functions

• Worrying about becoming fat even when one is thin

• Preoccupation with calorie counting or other fat-phobic behaviors.

Parents are a strong ally in helping their kids deal with eating disorders.  Having an eating disorder can be difficult to admit, and your child may not be ready to acknowledge that he/she has a problem. Listen “between the lines” to underlying feelings, and to learn what your child is really hungering for.  Be sure to talk to your child and let him or her know you're there to help or just to listen if he or she needs to talk.

You can demonstrate how to develop healthier eating habits by modeling a positive relationship with food and exercise. Also, help your child build a positive self-esteem.  Praise your children for what they do, not for how they look. Give your children a vision of a greater purpose in life that extends beyond themselves and their appearances, thereby encouraging them to develop healthy interests and passions. Teach your child that there is no such thing as an “ideal” body. Beautiful bodies come in all sizes and shapes.  If the problem is serious, please get professional help to assist your child in dealing with these deadly disorders.

            Kids need parents to do more than love them. They need parents to teach, to support, to be role models, listeners and talkers. Parents need to find new ways to listen to and communicate with their children. In addition, parents need to authentically live the lifestyle they seek for their child in order to insure their child’s immunity to eating dysfunction.

Photo courtesy: vpul.upenn.edu 

Rachna Buxani, with an M.Ed in School Counseling from Suffolk University in Boston and a B.A. in Psychology with a concentration in Child and Youth from Eastern Connecticut State University, USA has specialised in Middle and High School Counseling. Rachna's expertise is in assessment and management of problems related to adolescence. She would be regularly writing on parenting issues on womenone.org and would be providing answers to readers' queries related to it.