Why
kids whine
By
Rachna Buxani, Counselling
Services Coordinator, GEMS group of schools
 “Muuuuumy
I waaant juuuuiiiiiccceee” That sound of screeching and
moaning can drive you crazy. Have you ever wondered why kids
whine? Well it’s
simple, because it works!
All kids
whine until they are taught alternatives.
Parents give in to whining because the annoying sound
stops.
Whining
becomes habitual because children have a primitive sense of
time. When they
want something, they want it now.
Here’s what
you can do to help teach your child appropriate ways of asking
for things. Label
the behavior first so that your child understands what whining
is in the first place.
Say something
like, “What’s that? I hear whining.
As soon as you can talk calmly like a big girl, I’ll
get it for you.”
Your child
needs to understand that whining is not acceptable behavior.
Also, you must keep in mind that you have to warn your
child only once.
The more you
keep repeating your instructions, the more your child is apt to
persist. Be consistent in not responding to a whine.
The next step
is to examine your own behaviour. Are you unwittingly fueling
whines by using a complaining tone yourself with your
colleagues, spouse etc.
Also, ask
yourself if you are constantly putting your child off.
Sometimes parents keep putting off demands of children
for later without following through.
Eventually,
the child feels that their demands are never going to be met and
thus resort to other means of getting you to respond to their
needs.
Some kids
whine more in public. They know that making a scene puts you on the spot.
Do not
succumb. If
you’re heading into a whine-prone situation e.g. toy stores,
supermarkets etc., warn your child in advance what is expected
of him or her.
You should
treat whining in public no differently from whining at home.
Photo
courtesy: bbc.com
Rachna
Buxani, with an M.Ed in School Counseling from Suffolk
University in Boston and a B.A. in Psychology with a
concentration in Child and Youth from Eastern Connecticut State
University, USA has specialised in Middle and High School
Counseling. Rachna's expertise is in assessment and management
of problems related to adolescence. She writes regularly on parenting issues on
womenone.or, and answers to readers' queries related to it.
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